So Landen went on strike on Wednesday. Yes, on strike. He is striking from nursing. He absolutely refuses to nurse. Not a teeny tiny bit. He pushes away and grits his teeth and screams at me when I try.
On Friday, the doctor declared that he did not have an ear infection.
Now, I was sorta planning on trying to give him a couple of bottles a day because my body has really been feeling the strain of nursing through this last growth spurt. But I was very wishy-washy about it because Landen does not cuddle and nursing is the only time of the day that I get to hold and cuddle him.
And yet at this sudden strike, I feel very rejected.
I've cried it out and feel better about it. I think I'm accepting it, but every time I pump I get all sad again and I start getting over it again. I am trying to believe everyone that says it isn't my fault and does not reflect on my mothering skills, but sometimes it's hard. I guess I have to stop asking "why?" and start just making do. I thought I was pretty ambivelant about the whole nursing thing, but I guess I was alot more emotionally attached than I thought.
And besides that, our schedule is now all funked up.
2 comments:
I am sorry that stinks! I love nursing and that would make me sad too. But you are a good mom to pump and keep trying! Good luck!
Oh man, even without having a baby yet I understand your emotions. They say it's hard to start nursing (or to get the hang of it) and then to stop nursing. I hope you guys get on a better schedule for the both of you!
Post a Comment